The Enneagram is a system that posits nine basic personality types. For a broad overview, click here.
Type Two is the Helper, the Giver, the Lover, the People Pleaser, the Enabler, the Special Friend. Twos are warm, caring and generous. They know what you need better than you do. And they give it to you before you realize you wanted it. Making themselves indispensable. Twos need to be needed.
Love. Big theme for Twos. Giving it, getting it back. They can be very seductive. Maybe in a sexual sense, maybe not. But they want you to love them. And they can do this by showing you how much they love you.
Dolly Parton said "When I play live it's a lovefest with me and my audience. It's how I get my rocks off."
Whitney Houston's version of "I Will Always Love You" makes the song an overblown ballad about lost love. But in this NPR interview from 2001, Dolly explains the song's origin. She performed as part of Porter Wagoner's weekly TV show from 1967 to 1975. When she left she had no bad feelings about parting with Wagoner, who'd given her her big break (their relationship was never a romantic one, Dolly was married in 1966, and is still with the same man today). The song is a loving good-bye to a friend, in which she says:
I hope life treats you kind
And I hope you have all you've dreamed of
And I wish to you joy and happiness
But above all this, I wish you love.
Check out her pure, loving expression as she sings it in 1975. Notice how the song transcends its status as an over emotive pop cliche.
Fred Rogers has become a cliche. He's frequently parodied, which obscures his strength, passion and nurturing nature. In this (non-musical) clip he speaks to Senator Joe Pastore in 1969 about government funding for public television. Pastore is initially tired, rude and dismissive. He'd never heard of Rogers, and wasn't interested. Rogers speaks politely and sincerely about how his show provides every child with a message of care. He ends each broadcast saying:
You always make each day a special day.
By just you're being you.
There's only one person exactly like you in the whole world.
And that's you yourself. And I like you.
Watch the hostile Senator get drawn in, and fully seduced. You might be too. This is quite possibly my favourite clip I've ever seen on youtube.
An unhealthy Two buries their own needs, even to themselves. Their actions come with an invisible hook, bargaining for love. They can be possessive, people pleasing, and burst into rage when they feel they aren't appreciated. But a healthy Two, as described by Don Riso and Russ Hudson, lets go of the conviction that there's anything they can do to earn, create or get love. They're humble and altruistic. They still perform caring actions, but from a freely given sense of love, without even a secret thought of getting anything in return.