[Editor's note Chris:] Yesterday Sr. Vanessa published a piece on Women's Leadership and she raised some questions in relation to Sera Beak's teaching.  Following is the comment that Sera has left in response to Vanessa's article (she's given permission to put it elsewhere on the site...if you go to the original article, you can see Vanessa's response).  I really appreciate Sera's willingness to engage and enter the conversation.  I thought her comment deserved to be highlighted in fairness to her.  

Sera writes:

Vanessa, I applaud your brilliance, honest reflection and personal opinions  - your work is undoubtedly important and there are many gifts you’ve offered all of us in this thorough and poignant article - but unfortunately, because of my current situation (and probably my narcissism) I cannot delve into a debate or too many point details at this time, yet do want to offer something that is real and present for me.

The Red Book and the Redvolution were (and to lesser degrees still are) authentic reflections of my self, but I also need to gently remind you that I was in my twenties when I wrote The Red Book and "came out" with the Redvolution. I'm not sure what you were like 7 years ago (which was when I handed in the final draft), but imagine the un/fortunate experience of publishing it : )

Much has happened over the past years since The Red Book and Redvolution came out, including me leaving my "career" (stopping my film/breaking contract with my publisher/stepping down from boards/turning down all commercial offers and cancelling 95 percent of my public talks and workshops) because of what I perceived to be the corruption/abuse of the feminine in the mainstream spirituality arena and because I received a royal bitch slap care of the Big She Herself - all of which has lead to almost three years cocooning in the red tent. In the dark.

Like most dark nights, I’ve come face to face with my personal shadow, the mainstream spirituality/self-help shadow, the culture’s sexual shadow and the feminine divine's shadow…all of which I write about in detail in my forthcoming book and I plan to share with what’s left of my audience in a variety of ways (including a reflective and updated website) when I come out of the red tent in 2012.

But…I'm still not done with this particular level of divine deconstruction and since my livelihood and health have been greatly affected by my, er, career/life changes, I’ve unfortunately not had the time, energy, or money to change much of my website or previous public presence to reflect my current views and experience. Also, I’m between the old and the new, and because of my inability to fully see my new (and some of my fears/shadows around completely ditching the old when there is no new), I left the old up to view. Sometimes, when you lose layers of your false self, you assume the world loses them as well. But as your article has clearly shown me, that’s obviously not the case when you’ve been a semi-public figure.

I realize you could only form your opinions based on what you read of my old self/career/website/book/public information – and of course, you have every right to your opinions because that “old me” is still out there affecting the world and I am responsible for her - and I'm pretty damn sure even with “the sera shake down” of these past years, you would still disagree with me on several things...

However,

a very human, honest and defensive part of me wishes you would have waited a few months for my latest book to come out - the book that speaks to where I am now - not 7 years ago.

Also, 6 months ago you sent me several emails, one of which asked for a dialogue at some point and I answered that I could not “dialogue” till I was out of the red tent because I was undergoing a deep process (which was also relayed to you via a few other ways). On my old blog, third post down, in summer 2009, I write about having to go behind the red curtain, and in a few recent public online radio interviews over the past few months I talk about how my views on sexuality/spirituality/ and young feminine leaders have changed dramatically and by beginning to give voice to my new views and take action because of them, I have lost dear friends, colleagues, my professional life as I knew it, and well, almost everything.

Anyway, my rambling point is that a little digging and date checking (and a little respect for another’s process) would have made many people pause...and wait... or at least inquire more before they write an online article specifically about the processing person and their changing work.

So, to continue this totally honest human rant and since we were in contact, I do wish you would have told me that you were writing about me specifically in an article that would be published online at this time, because I would have briefly busted out of my red tent and tried to voice my current truth (before you published your article) – or, since my brain is less able to debate or “dialogue” these dark days, at least I could have shared with you my pride and misgivings about my past, my honest confusions, delusions and hopes about the spiritual/sexual arena, my personal shadow show down and what I have learned about the feminine “hottie” movement and why I have pulled away from it while still trying to honor the ongoing discovery of my authentic feminine sexual/spiritual expression…

and well, most importantly (in my opinion), I would have shared with you how terrifying, how humbling, how gut-wrenching all this change has been for me as a woman and as “a leader,” and (because of these roles), how dedicated I am to the lengthy grueling often publicly embarrassing process of retrieving my feminine Soul so I can be of truer service to other women and this planet…

all of which (again, in my opinion) would have made for a more fair and rounded article.

Speaking of my slowly returning Soul - my oh my is She RED and HOT!!! (hence the title of my forthcoming book). Her love burns me alive and spanks me awake and leaves me totally vulnerable and open and real and hot and, well, definitely bothered. “Hottie movement” beware.  It’s time for “Hot” to reflect its truest meaning – divine transformation.

But right now, my red hot Soul is calling me back inside the red tent to finish giving birth to this next book (and my self), reminding me that now is not the time to go into heady detail with you about this already published article as much as my ego wants to because unfortunately I do not have the energy or wherewithal at this particular time to defend my old ghosts as you have portrayed them.

One last handful of fiery red rose petals - due to your past emails to me and now reading this article I am a bit curious about why you have been so focused on me (as opposed to some of my more successful and “sexy” and young female colleagues in the public arena who have way more influence and reach than I do) and can’t help but wonder if there is something else going on here beneath the surface. I also recognize that you have chosen to show only particular elements of my work and website to support your article. Combined with what I have already written above, and no matter how well-crafted and well-meaning your words, this article honestly (and energetically) feels a tiny bit sneaky - like you were using me (perhaps unconsciously) to express some of your own issues and carry out your own agenda and that I don’t appreciate (or respect) - although it does make me want to give you a new sex toy or a glass of red wine for some strange reason. And of course, a good-natured ass slap replete with gold body glitter.

In red hot and holy love – Sera

p.s.Redvolution is not a brand. It’s my personal divine process and rouge awakening... and I currently teach it as so, asking other women to be true to the "name" that is authentically calling them forward. For me, it’s about taking the red pill. It’s about being devastated by divine feminine truth. And you bet your sweet ass that’s a sustainable Movement – from the inside out - that burns like hell.