Thanks for being an asshole. That’s right, thanks for being an asshole. If you’re an asshole, you’ll probably know it’s a thankless vocation. If you’ve been an asshole to someone, and that someone’s a musician, there’s a good chance you’ve inspired a great song or two. Not that I have any real interest in supporting assholery, but in some circumstances, good can come from it. To be fair, more credit goes to the songwriter than the asshole. Taking a shitty situation and making into music, into art, is exceptional, but let’s give the assholes a little something. Being treated badly has birthed some awesome songs. Powerful, beautiful, heartbreaking, angry, kick ass songs. Who doesn’t love those?
Lucinda Williams’ beautiful ballad “Greenville,” is a song inspired by loving someone who wasn’t always that lovable. I love this song, it’s so raw and honest... like most of her stuff. She gets pretty specific about this asshole:
“You scream and shout, you make a scene,
when you open your mouth you never say what you mean...”
“You drink hard liquor, you come on strong,
you lose your temper someone looks at you wrong...”
Things don’t get much better:
“Out all night playing in a band,
looking for a fight with a guitar in your hand...”
“Empty bottles and broken glass,
busted down doors and borrowed cash.
“Lookin’ for someone to save you,
lookin’ for someone to rave about you,
to rave about you... Go back to Greenville,
just go on back to Greenville.”
“Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole” - by Martha Wainwright sounds (by title alone even), like a pretty damn angry song. Which it is, but it’s more than just angry. She reaches beyond the anger here for something a little deeper, and hits it. This song isn’t necessarily about one specific asshole (despite the
title), this gem was produced by the pressure of many assholes. I get choked up every time I hear it:
“Oh, I wish, I wish, I wish I was born a man
So I could learn how to stand up for myself
Like those guys with guitars
I've been watching in bars
Who've been stamping their feet to a different beat
To a different beat
To a different beat
I will not pretend
I will not put on a smile
I will not say I'm all right for you
When all I wanted was to be good
To do everything in truth
To do everything in truth
You bloody mother fucking asshole!!”
Seeing her sing it live is incredible...
“Running out of Fools” was originally an Aretha Franklin song, which makes perfect sense, but the version of it I know is sung by Neko Case. That’s just another great thing about ‘asshole songs,’ we can share them. Just like assholes. Neko sings the hell out of this song and I’m sure she had a special asshole in mind:
“You left me all alone right here
Your goodbye was even colder than ice
Didn't bother you I was cryin'
Now you wanna break my heart twice
Is that why you got in touch with me,
Ohhh, guess you must be runnin’ out of fools.”
Bessie Smith, 'Empress of the Blues,' sure can sing about assholes. She’s got all kinds of great asshole songs, so it was hard to choose, but “Sweet Mistreater” wins because there’s a special place in music for the cheating asshole:
“When you’re out there no doubt, you as smart as can be,
But how come you so dumb when you easin' home to me?
Oh you lowdown cheater!
Oh you red-hot mistreater!
Oh sweet mistreater, don't mistreat me so!
Oh you mistreater!
Oh you dirty mistreater!
No one can be so sweeter when you are lovin' you.
Oh you look so willin',
But this way it is killin',
Tell me how come you save it the way you do?”
Sweet Mistreater or Foolish Man Blues - Bessie Smith
As much as it feels good hear a musician really givin’ it to some asshole, the reason I love these songs is because of how effective they are. They mean what they’re singing. We can feel, experience, and relate to what’s being expressed, and you can’t fake that.
Thanks for listening! Please share your favourite asshole songs.
